May....The 'Bitter' Month

Apparently in Kazakh, the month of May means 'bitter', and therefore most people in this country refuse to get married during the entire month. Instead, they try to squeeze most of their weddings into April so they won't have to wait until June. I was really lucky to get invited to two weddings this past month. How did I manage to get myself invited to two weddings already when I've only lived and known the people in my village for such a short time? I'm just a really likable person I suppose...
It really started when my friend Emily and I went to have a traditional banya/ ghosting day at the house of one of the teachers from my school. It wasn't long after we were cleaned and stuffing our faces with sheep and noodles that we figured out the dynamics of this family of 15+! adults and kids living in one household. The leader of the clan, this amazingly charming, rosy cheeked, round Kazakh father.
(It's hard not to smirk when I think of the guy, he's GREAT!) Mr. giant family insists that Emily and I share in their celebrations with one of his sons who will be married in the fall. Although Em and I would have happily begged or (snuck in) to be included in this wedding, we just nodded and said YES, you should invite us!
Well, the fall wedding got pushed up about 9 months...figure that one out. And we were included after all.
The wedding started with a ceremony at the mosque in my village. I've never been to a mosque service before, and was grateful to have a few of my students there to explain the ceremony to me. After the wedding prayer is recited, the bride and groom are asked three times by the mullah if they go willingly into the marriage or not, and three times they drink water from a cup. The cup is then passed around for the family to drink. The ceremony ends after everyone throws candy at the wedding party. Then the bride and groom go outside to release two white doves. (It was about two seconds after the dove pooped on the brides dress that all the crazy Kazakhs rushed to assure all that this is good luck, along with the rain on the wedding day)
Like Americans, the family keeps a wedding video of the entire day, and before leaving the mosque we were asked to make our first toast of the day. Jeff, who I told could only come to the mosque and then had to go away, was not actually invited to the wedding. But after his toast on camera, he was pretty much becoming part of the family (no such thing as a crasher in this country). We rode off in the precession of decorated cars who go through the village honking non-stop. We were taken to the family's house for chai and to get 'beautified'. Emily and I got talked into having our hair done. It turned out well for me, I got a nice up-do, not too over the top. But by the time they got to Emily, the stylist decided to be a little more 'creative'. She created something that was half bee-hive, half ringlets.
We made it to the reception that evening just in time, looking fabulous. The bride and groom enter the party with relatives holding a shawl in front of their faces, and when the dombre player calls your name, you must put money on a plate if you want to see them. After everyone is called, the shawl is removed very carefully using the neck of the dombra instrument, and the celebration begins. They get really into decorating the head table for the bribe and groom, and at this wedding, someone ordered personalized red-heart shaped balloons with their names. How sweet.
The reception isn't so different from an American wedding party, unless you count the horse, sheep, and various other types of meat to consume. There was a good amount of toasting, feasting, dancing, and various competitions throughout the evening. I was pleased with my combined Kazakh/ Russian toast, which I like to believe got a louder round of applause than the Russian scholar's... but who knows how much wine I'd drank by that point.
After making it through the first wedding with my American friends by my side, I figured I was prepared to give it a go on my own. This past weekend was the wedding of a cousin of my counterpart. It was a much smaller, less rowdy affair, but most of the same idea. (I did eat dove meat at this wedding, that was an experience)
If I haven't illustrated the hospitable nature of the Kazakh people yet, I hope this story hits the point home. I was really enjoying the wedding party this weekend, and was busy grooving on the dance floor when a couple I hadn't spoken to yet asked if they could take a photo with me. They were the aunt and uncle of the bride, and of course I said yes. Later that evening, I ran into them again and they handed me a white envelope. Inside, they had printed out the photo for me. On the back they wrote their names, phone numbers, address, and a note inviting me to come ghosting at their house in Pavlodar anytime. I was really moved by the gesture, and hope to call them soon.

In other exciting news, I ran in a Kazakhstan road race in Pavlodar this weekend. I almost got rejected for not being a citizen, but the physical education teacher at my school fought pretty hard for me. The competition was stiff, mostly women running in jeans and sweaters. But there were a couple of serious, sponsored athletes. I managed to come in 4th, and next year I'm going to have to train harder and make my school proud.

So we move onto May, the bitter month. The only thing I have to be bitter about at the moment is the fact that after 9 months of required living with host families, most of my friends will be moving out on their own this week. I'm looking for a place of my own as well, but my village doesn't have any apartments-only houses, so unless something comes up for rent, I'll be staying put. On the bright side, it's almost time for summer, which means camps, vacation, and travel.

FROZE TO THE BONE IN MY IGLOO HOME...COUNTING THE DAYS TIL THE ICE TURNS GREEN.

I can't say I've been too busy with my 'o so important' job this past month (we've had a holiday break from school for the past two weeks). On the other hand, I've definitely been busy with this thing called 'adjustment' to my new site. So not everything has been great, and not everything has been terrible...let's just say I've begun to accept this village as my home for the next few years. The positive side of spending the holidays away from home was the chance to get to know my new friends a lot better... i.e. the chance for us new volunteers to test out our vodka shot count capabilities together (go figure, mine is not so high). I spent New Years in Zhelesinka, the village where volunteers Jeff (the Russian scholar from Seattle) and Megan (my fellow NYU buddy) live, about three hours north of Pavlodar. Highlights included getting beaten up by a two-year old, my first co-ed banya, dodging invitations from crazies taking shots in cars, champagne toasts in a magazine, the masquerade where we were the only ones wearing masks, and star gazing in -25 degree weather.

It was a great trip, but coming back was even better because I have a now have a new and much improved host family. They have had a few volunteers live with them in the past-so they know how to keep me happy and are used to American-isms. I have a host dad, a host mom (who just left to jet-set in Russian for two months) and Anya and Pasha--two crazy newlyweds who fight all the time but take good care of me, and buy me all the vegetarian food I want. Tuesday night, Anya even ventured to the disco with us, and didn't get too annoyed with me when I made new 'friends' at a restaurant who wanted to take shots with the Americans and invite us to their 'zona relaxation' outside of the city-- although her and Pasha continue to tease me about it every day since.

My counterpart and I are still dealing with our constant love/hate relationship, but she did tell me a Kazakh saying that I think is worth sharing. 'You are in charge of letting your spirit feel free'. We took this heart the other day when we went on a bumpy, icy, horse-drawn sleigh ride with friends through Pavlodarskoye-laughing and waving at all our students we saw on the way, who of course looked at us like we were crazy. I was freezing, but for once I didn't care.

Lessons start up again tomorrow, and this term I'll be adding my own 2nd grade class to my schedule. I'll also be teaching a community English class for adults, and continue to condition my girls soccer team for spring. With all this to look forward to...I'll try to make myself stop counting down the days til spring.